suggestions are intended to make your home feel more like the office:
Throughout the day
randomly put a wet floor sign in front of the bathroom door.
Install a water
cooler (with paper cups) in the hall to stand by.
Put a sign up in
the kitchen to say food left in fridge over weekend will be thrown away.
Fill a fire bucket
with sand. Then put cigarette butts in and place the bucket outside the front
photocopier and put a note on it saying ‘engineer called’
Set off your alarm
clock and stand out in the street pretending there is a fire drill.
chewing loudly, picking your teeth, humming, tapping your biro on the desk (and
any other such annoying noises. Then play back on loop to invoke nostalgia for
that genuine office ambience.
Make ID cards for
all the family and insist they must always be on show.
Shout out to
no-one in particular. "Is anyone else having trouble getting on outlook
this morning?...I'm just getting that little egg timer going round and
back door as a fire exit, put stickers up indicating such then lock it and place
something heavy in front of it.
passive-aggressive post-it notes on various doors, about switching lights off,
flushing the toilet, not stealing from the fridge.
Glance over your
shoulder occasionally while surfing Facebook on your computer.
Place a PLEASE
WASH YOUR HANDS sign in the loo, and a cautionary note on the hot tap reading
CAUTION HOT WATER.
Put a signing-in
book at the front door.
Make sure you only
put empty milk bottles or bottles with an inch of sour milk in the fridge. All other
milk must be left out on the surfaces.
you’ve installed a vending machine by mixing a dash of vinegar and bleach into
every cup of tea or coffee.
Steal your own
stationery and toilet rolls.
Use your credit
card to swipe access for all your doors and hang signs on the inside that say
make sure door is closed.
Put a sticker on
your thermostat saying 'DO NOT TOUCH' and then turn it up to max. Then open all
the windows because it is too hot.
Turn all the
lights on, even in the empty rooms.
Put a sign on the
door with your name and job title, and insist that anyone who needs to speak to
you makes an appointment first.
Get yourselves an
imaginary coworker to blame things on. So it’s Mary who keeps leaving her dirty
cups all over the place and we really don't know what to do about her.
Create a stack of
"Out of order" signs. Put on household appliances, but also on doors
and mailbox. And the cat.
sugar granules, teaspoons and used mugs around the kitchen and leave a couple
of cupboard doors open.
Stick a sign above the kitchen sink. THE WASHING
UP FAIRY HAS RESIGNED